The Meditative Spirit of Raking Leaves

“Send them outside!” my grandmother used to say when we’d get too rambunctous for her inside the house. We’d roll in the grass, sweep the stone terrace and weed the pachysandra. At the time I didn’t appreciate being sent outside when the air conditioned house seemed much more inviting. But today I find myself fleeing to the outdoors when life is too much with me.

In a pocket of time yesterday afternoon, the sun kissed the Earth with such benevolence that I felt compelled to grab my broom and sweep up the leaves that continue to fall from our walnut tree. There I met our neighbor who was enjoying the afternoon off from his stressful managerial position at an worldwide furniture store. His pet pig (yes, he owns a pot-belly/dwarf pig) was rooting around the ground for the last walnuts he could find. My son appeared with his soccer ball and a spontaneous game of kick-the-ball ensued between the neighbor and him. With each sweeping motion, I felt the stress of my day fall away. My motions were accompanied by the thump of the ball,  the grunt of the pig and an occasional jubulation for a shot well-done. The smell of the rain-soaked leaves soothed my soul as I realized there is great joy in sharing a moment outdoors ~ with son, neighbor and a pet pig whose presence alone reminds me that no matter how demanding our 24/7 world can be, the beauty of the ever-present moment can be ours if we awaken to it.

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Shifting Left of Center

True inspiration comes from a deep listening that we seldom embrace in our go-go existence. As a writer, I have found it essential to take pause to capture the Voice within. Creative articulation is relentless in granting itself expression. If I don’t pay attention, the Voice finds someone else who will as I’m busy doing something else. It is a sad moment when I look up to see Voice’s dust cloud galloping off without me.

Janis Hui from The Heart Forum left a most wonderful comment about my piece On Savoring that is most appropriate to this notion. She writes:

Not only we do we need quietude for the creative process, we need it from time to time to maintain our sanity.  Without making a point to slow down and reflect, it’s all too easy to get lost in the rat race and forget if all that we are busy doing is aligned with our authentic selves.  We might think what we do is aligned with our center when we set out to do things but our centers also shift as time goes on. If we took the time to check in with ourselves, we would be able to notice these differences and make adjustments along the way.

Isn’t that so true? If we clutched doggedly to a purpose that no longer serves us, wouldn’t we tend to go faster and harder, thinking more effort will lead to a better outcome?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Moments of reflection are necessary, not just for the writers among us, but for everyone on the planet. That is why meditation, retreats and renewal ceremonies are so important. Whether you are renewing your marital vows or celebrating thirty years in business, we need to formally recognize our commitments. It helps strengthen our resolve and place us back on task.

Yesterday I met with a dear friend whom I have know for a while. She helped me on several book projects and has been my champion in so many ways. As we caught up each other on our lives, she paused for a moment and said, “How do you do it all?” I thought for a moment, then answered: “I only do things that serve my ultimate purpose.”

Like an interwoven tapestry, one thing feeds the next. Everything we do must feed our soul. If it drains us, we must move on. That includes listening for the shift in our center, checking in with ourselves every now and then, and allowing things to unfurl naturally.

My motto today? Let it happen and be witness to the grace of this lifetime for it is here, nestled deep within.

21 Ways to Pray ~ Beliefnet.com

Meditation is a great way to connect with Source. Prayer is one common form of meditation. BeliefNet.com offers some great ways to do just that. The great news? Prayer is free. The results? Priceless!

21 Ways to Pray – 21 Ways to Pray- Beliefnet.com

Slow Motion Monday

Last week was tremendous. Picking up the pace a bit, I travelled with book author, Deborah King (Truth Heals), acting as translator of both words and meaning. It was an extraordinary experience into the depths of the human soul (she does energy work). Despite the tiresome travel, I was left feeling energized and centered. I even learned that hugging a tree can ground you like nothing else, except perhaps my husband’s feet.

The kids came with my husband to the Austrian resort, which was our final destination on the week-long tour. My daughter rode horses, played with the animals and had a great time helping herself to the buffet. My son fell in love with our friends’ dogs and made mental plans to see them again soon. The warmth of the sun offset our despondence at the US loss during Saturday night’s World Cup soccer match.

Because I had kept up with most of my emails, I came home with less overwhelm than usual after a week’s absence. In fact, I realized how fine the balance can be between too much time ‘on’ and too much time ‘off’. We sometimes think we have to be ‘on’ all the time. Not so. Unplugging for a weekend of fun and frolicking can be just the thing to make your Monday joyful and slow!

Slow Holiday

According to an American Time Use Survey graph, Americans spent 17 minutes a day relaxing and thinking. Today is President’s Day in the United States ~ now’s your chance! Forget the great sales at the local car dealership. Never mind the alluring slashed prices at the mall. Today is your day to  sit and merely think.

For many in Germany, today is a day to celebrate and turn off the thinking cap altogether. We are in full-blown Carneval season during which time it is normal to see merchants dressed as clowns or barmaids ~ today is Rosenmontag. The fun ends on Ash Wednesday, but for now, people in Cologne are joining the throngs of bystanders, nipping on flasks while waving to the parade marchers.

For me it is a day off with the kids at home for school break. I slept in, read some more of Twilight, and pondered how marvelous slow holidays feel. The kids aren’t really into Carneval either ~ they’d rather go sledding, read or play with their friends. We might watch some of the Olympics later on today when Vancouver wakes up; I might read some more. If we were in the US, we would certainly tip the statistics in favor of more relaxing and thinking.

Let’s bump those relaxing minutes up to twenty a day, people. Come on. What do you think?

Everything is Neutral ~ Yoga Psychology

Yesterday I had to navigate very icy roads to bring my son and his best friend to a Carnival party. It was stressful as people around me seemed to be driving at a normal speed while I was turtling along, sweating bullets.

Robert Butera offers great insights into why traffic jams are neutral and what we can do about our reactions to stressful events. It all begins with how we frame things.

Read on and enjoy!

Yoga Psychology on Stress Management

By Robert Butera, PhD

How do you face your daily challenges? How often do you feel subtle or extreme stress? Are you constantly reacting to your surroundings without awareness, or are you paying attention and discerning your choices?

Let’s take the universal example of traffic. What do you experience when you are stuck in a serious traffic jam? Often the answer to this question is some kind of negative emotion such as anger, frustration, or pressure. But what if you thought of the traffic jam as a small blessing that allowed you some unexpected time to reflect, relax, or enjoy some deep breathing? It is interesting to note that 20 people stuck in the same traffic jam will have 20 different reactions to the situation. This phenomenon offers a simple yet profound lesson – the traffic jam is simply a traffic jam. It is how we react to the traffic jam that creates and sustains unnecessary levels of stress in our daily lives.

This concept that everything is neutral is one of the primary underpinnings of traditional Yoga Psychology. It is a unique perspective, because when we contemplate this idea, we must ask ourselves: If everything is neutral, then why does stress exist? Yoga teachings tell us that anything that clouds our understanding of reality causes a corresponding amount of struggle in life. To understand how to have positive reactions to life requires us to understand the deeper reasons, values, beliefs, and life events that have shaped our approach to living and relating.

The traffic jam is really just a metaphor for any challenging situation we face throughout the course of the day. When we are emotional, it is hard to take a step back and see things as they truly are. Learned emotional responses trigger unaware reactions.  When we become aware of our triggers, take a deep breath, and review the situation, the possibility of emotional transformation arises. In those few moments, a situation that might normally bring stress into the mind/body can instead bring about a sense of equanimity.

Six Ways to Apply Yoga Psychology to Daily Life

Every time you recognize and understand a personal stress, there is an opportunity for positive change and personal growth to occur. Use stressors you identify as a way of learning more about yourself. Whatever you learn will be interesting!

This six-step process can be used any time, but for many, the end of the day (before falling asleep) is best. Even the busiest person has 5–10 minutes before bedtime to reflect on the events of the day.

1. Think of one minor stress from the day – something as simple as traffic is better than a profound catastrophe.
2. Think of the emotion you felt during that situation. Refrain from stating the cause of the emotion. Phrase the statement, “I felt (emotion) while I sat in the traffic.”
3. Consider how the situation could be neutral. The traffic is just the traffic. It did not force you to have any specific emotion. You had the emotional reaction to the traffic. Some people like traffic, such as salaried workers who get a break. Notice how your perspective toward a neutral situation affects your emotional response.
4. Understand your underlying belief pattern that creates your reaction to the situation. For example, “Traffic is annoying because I do not have enough time to spend with my children after working all day.” The issue to be understood is not the traffic but the fact that you feel as though you don’t have enough time.
5. Re-evaluate how you can tailor your belief pattern in a fashion that allows you to have your deep values without evoking stress reactions. “I accept that working will alter my life with kids. However, this is my life and I will accept that children are raised by a village – and I trust my village.”
6. Let your stressful situations be permitted. Let self-understanding be permitted. As you understand your situations, see yourself as a wise person and integrate the idea that all things are neutral, and you can reduce stress to a minimum.

As you work through these six steps and apply these lessons, remember that the easier part of the process is recognizing that all things are neutral and that you have the power to react without stress. The harder part of the process is accepting the pain that you find when you examine the “whys” of your reactions. Stay present with what you uncover, and use it as a learning tool to positively transform your experience of daily life.

* * * * *

Robert Butera PhD is author of The Pure Heart of Yoga: Ten Essential Steps to Personal Transformation (Llewellyn, $21.95), publisher of Yoga Living magazine, and director of The YogaLife Institute in Devon, Pennsylvania, where he trains yoga instructors as well as students. Visit www.pureheartofyoga.com for more information.

Material Simplicity

Eileen Flanagan caught my attention after she left the most thought-provoking comment the other day on this blog. As the author of The Wisdom to Know the Difference: When to Make A Change–and When to Let Go, she showed me so much gentleness and clarity. I got curious and asked to learn more about her. She mentioned she was a Quaker, a spiritual practice I briefly mention in The Power of Slow.

The End of Distraction

“When Quakerism began in seventeenth century England,” she told me, “followers sought to center their lives on God and so tried to eliminate anything that might serve as a distraction.” We all know what distracts us today. Imagine living a life without it.

(Image from http://www.bristolquakers.org.uk/)

“Today very few Quakers (or Friends) continue to dress in the manner associated with the Amish,” she reported, “but most agree that putting too much attention on having nice clothes or fancy possessions can distract you from what is most important. For many contemporary Quakers, concern about the environment and the global distribution of wealth are added reasons not to use more than we need.”

Simplicity at Home

Have you taken a good look at the contents of your refrigerator lately? I used to own way too many condiments until my in-laws recently moved in for two weeks. After they had left, the jars of indistinguishables disappeared with them. We haven’t replaced them and now there’s an airyness about the fridge like nobody’s business. Pretty inspiring.

The Quaker community has a meditative quality I really enjoy. I attended a service once in which we bathed in silence until one or two people spoke up. As Eileen states, “Many Quakers continue with the silent form of worship begun by early Friends. Worship usually lasts about an hour, but it’s not always silent. If during that time someone feels divinely inspired to offer a ‘message’, they may stand and speak. For me this hour to center is vitally important, especially after having children made my daily meditation practice more irregular and sometimes non-existent.”

Importance of Down Time

She agrees moments of down time are essential. Like my own family, she has instituted ‘quiet time’. As our kids have gotten older, we have found it increasingly difficult to enforce: soccer practice, friends, school, and music class seem to have butt in to what we used to cherish every day after lunch. It was easier when they were little and had fewer demands, I suppose.

“Our family sometimes has a ‘quiet time’ with our children before bed,” Eileen said. “Ten or fifteen minutes to snuggle on the couch in front of a candle–but given that Quakers are now part of the wider culture–with homework, soccer games, play practice, and the like–many of us struggle to live with simplicity and slowness in our daily lives.”

It seems no one is immune to today’s hectic pace of life.

Eileen said the “Quakers belief in waiting when we are not certain what is the right thing to do. As a congregation we seek to find ‘unity’ (similar to consensus, but not exactly the same). This process can be frustratingly slow, but often brings better results in the long term than rushing to a decision.”

As I mentioned in an earlier post, things happen all in good time. Letting go is a never-ending process. I appreciate Eileen’s notions and sacred message. We could all use a little more serenity in our day.

Product Review: Audéo Perfect Fit Earphones

Music can soothe the soul, especially when the noise of our lives encases us. I recently tried out Audéo Perfect Fit Earphones by the Swiss hearing aide manufacturer Phonak. While the quality sounded a little tinny for my taste, I enjoyed relaxing with the sound-silencing feature of the earphones themselves. I couldn’t hear the peep of my children’s voices (which might not always be a good thing) or my husband’s call to help him recycle the bottles. In a moment of relaxation, I liked how I could shut out the world for a song or two. It helped me regain my equilibrium. Most definitely a good time-out!