When You Teeter, Go to the Cocktail Cafe
December 12, 2008
Rhea J. Brown, a marketing and business development professional, started her blog, The Cocktail Café, out of sheer desperation as a working mom with a need to express herself and connect with other time-starved mothers. She wanted to create a place where she could celebrate the woman behind motherhood, marriage, and business. Her motto, much like mine, states:
“All moms are working moms and my mission is to empower, entertain, and inspire moms to live their best lives.”
She not only shares a birthday with Britney Spears, she also shares cool advice on her blog every day. I sat down for a cyber chat with her recently. Here’s what she said.
CLH: When did you realize slowing down was a good idea?
Rhea: After getting married and having my first child, I became so confused. Between the pediatrician, husband, mother, mother-in-law and single friends offering up their advice on me and my life, I was depressed, stressed, and overworked. I was a young mother and wife, yet I felt so alone. One morning I got up, locked myself in the bathroom, rolled up in a ball in the corner on the floor, and cried until I laughed.
After hours and hours in the bathroom, my husband knocked on the door to check on me.
My response? “Honey, I’m OK… I’m just having a little ME TIME!”
CLH: Eureka! Me time is an important aspect of our relationship with time.
Rhea: Exactly! It was then that I realized that in order for me to maintain my sanity, I had to slow down. I had spent all those hours in the bathroom crying and not looked at myself in the mirror once. When I did (mascara running down my face), I saw someone that I hadn’t before. It was me!
CLH: Inspiring! How did you go about making the change?
Rhea: That day, I washed my face off, took a long bath, and went shopping. That’s right, I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure, bought a really cute cocktail dress, and called my husband to inform him that I was going out… alone. After never having enough for me (baby toys, clothes, food, laundry etc.), I carved the time for myself, by myself. It felt so good! That evening I came home and my husband cooked my favorite dish. We had a candle lit evening, talked and laughed. He said that he missed ‘me’ and was happy to see her again. Wow!
CLH: What a great start! What strategies have you developed to remind yourself about the importance of balance?
Rhea: Here are a few tips that help me find balance and serve as constant reminders of the things I hold true. I hope that they will serve you well:
- Focus special attention on your personal and spiritual health as well as your well-being. Whatever it is that helps you find peace, rest and relaxation is necessary to maintain happiness and joy.
- Find a community (physical/virtual) or group for the support and help you seek. As women, we are unique in that helping comes naturally for us – empathy is second nature. When things get overwhelming, reach out and touch someone who will be there for you.
- Focus on those little moments where hope floats. Laugh as much as possible, cry only when you’ve laughed too hard, and always remember to love yourself.
These tips have helped me and continue to serve as constant reminders that I must honor myself first in order to serve others.
Create a place of balance by thinking positively in order to attract the things that are destined to come your way.
CLH: Thanks so much for your insights!
Rhea: Thank you!