Arielle Ford was in the air, heading towards Las Vegas while she read my book (and ‘highlighted much of it’ she said in an email – she likes it. She really likes it!). Her husband, sitting next to her, kept poking her in the side while he read a recent New York magazine article by Sam Anderson entitled “The Benefits of Distraction and Overstimulation”. She was amazed at the parallels in my book with his article. It was a funny moment of synchronicity as they soared the Western skies.

socratesNaturally curious, I googled Sam’s article to see what similarities I might find. His article was distinctly hilarious, giving our collective worry about distraction a new spin. Never snarky (I hate snarky), always pithy (I love pithy), his article hits the nail on the head.

Maybe there is some neurological benefit to all this connectivity. (Grossly absent in his argumentation about the younger generation is the fact that, until around age twenty, people in general have higher cognitive abilities than our sagging middle-aged brains, but who am I to be a wet blanket at his party?) Perhaps, his article suggests, we can positively alter our brain’s wiring through technology after all.

My issue with our hyperconnected world is what gets lost in the translation. We text, ping, upload and download with abandon. But how much time do we waste in the process? Is a superhuman brain truly desirable? To what end?

His article is balanced (because he gives my camp ample play), yet critical of too much outcry over technological advances and their damage it might inflict on our tender brains. Technophobes have always dampened the spirits of those who enjoy its benefits. After all, he rightly paraphrases Socrates, the greatest orator who ever lived, as saying the written word was scandalous for its ‘memory-destroying properties’ because, well, it was a recording of wisdom and not the wisdom itself.

In my mind, writing is an organized system lending structure to thought, but it is not the thoughts themselves. Without drifting too far into epistimology, I would note that our pleasure systems have altered dramatically. We have moved from a visual society to an oral society to a visual one again. Before we could speak, we painted pictures on cave walls. Then came speech and the value of oration. We later developed a vastly distributed writing system with more visual stimuli (Greek statues, tablets and monuments come to mind). Auditory pleasures remained through music and a common delivery system called radio. Then, taking a leap through the centuries came the prominence of the visual medium again through television and now YouTube.

Each generation deals with its own level of distraction. Whatever triggers it is rather immaterial – what is important is how we manage the distractions as they come. I favor mindful living over filling the mind with senseless chatter.

What’s your take?

Love is all there is. And if you’re looking for The One, you know how hard it can be to live without it.

I sat down for an empowering cyber-chat with Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret, to reveal the mystery behind the process of finding your soulmate.  Here’s what she had to say.

CLH: Many people think there’s a fast way to love. Do you agree?

soulmate-secret1Arielle: I’m more interested in quality than speed.  I have witnessed someone manifest a soulmate in under three weeks and I have seen it take a year or more for others. One of the most important parts of the process of manifesting a soulmate is what I call “living as if.”  This is when you live in the “knowingness” that your soulmate is on the way to you.  You live with joy and anticipation, sharing those good feelings with the ones around you.  You enjoy your life as it is right now in this moment, being grateful for all the love you already have.

CLH: How would you define ‘soulmate’?

Arielle: A soulmate is someone you can completely be yourself with. Someone whom you love unconditionally and that person loves you unconditionally.  When you look into the eyes of a soulmate, you have the feeling that you are at “home.”

CLH: Your story of manifesting and meeting your soulmate and then getting engaged three weeks later is inspirational. Can everyone be so lucky?

Arielle: Yes, but I am not sure I would call it luck. With a clear intention and an open heart I clearly called forth my soulmate through prayer, ritual, manifestation techniques and grace.  This worked for me, and it has since worked for dozens of my friends.  It has even worked for my 80 year-old mother-in-law.

CLH: The Power of Slow is about taking personal responsibility. How does your book encourage people to do the same?

Arielle: If it is your desire to spend your life with a soulmate, then you must commit to putting your intention and attention on the process.  While for some people, a soulmate will magically appear into their lives, for many it is a process of having a clear intention about the traits and qualities you wish your soulmate and your life with that person to possess. First, you begin by forgiving yourself for any past mistakes you have made in the realm of relationship while also forgiving your past lovers for any harm you believe they caused you. Then, there is step by step guidance to bring forth the love of your life. This is the essence of personal responsibility.

CLH: How does the process work exactly?

Arielle:  To manifest your soul mate here are the ten top things to do and remember: 

 • Be the loving person that you are. Find ways to express more love to everyone in your life.

• Live in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship. 

• Live that truth every day as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive.

• Create a “vision map” of your romantic vision and look at it daily.

• Write a list of the most important qualities your soul mate will possess.

• Heal your heart of any past hurts that will prevent you from magnetizing big love.

• Clear out the clutter in your home and create space for your beloved (especially in your closets).

• Create an altar in the relationship corner of your home.

• Listen to your intuition to take action when opportunities present themselves.

• Fall in love with yourself. Know that you are loveable.

 Big love is possible for anyone of any age if you are willing to become a magnet for love. Continue to live each day in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive.                                                           

CLH: Thanks so much for this chat!

Arielle: Thank you!