Happiness is a decision.

It’s that simple.

Our mindset has everything to do with how our day will be. On those days when we’re off center, we are less apt to choose happiness. Most likely, we buy into our self-pity as if it is real. We convince ourselves that there is nothing we can do. We may feel a sense of doom and gloom that lingers over our heads, inescapable and crushing.

We’ve all been there. It’s the human condition to feel the depths of despair as well as the high that happiness brings.

There is nothing wrong with being unhappy. It happens. In our smiley-face culture, we are taught that happiness is what we should strive for (it’s even in the U.S. Constitution!). But let’s be real for a moment. Sustained happiness is a pipe dream. What comes up must come down. And we can choose in any given situation how to respond.

It takes training. Not every day is the same. You might have the very best intentions to start your day out right, but things go awry and you’re left overloaded, spent and downright stressed. With some practice, you can put yourself back on track, but everyone has their own pace to getting there.

That’s okay too. I hereby free you from the shackles of the must-be-happy doctrine. You can spit fire and curse too. Where there is light, there are shadows.

Are you ready for the biggest irony of all? If you can accept that part of you that you wish to hide from the world, you will be happy.

Of that, my friend, I am very certain.

Clueless

September 25, 2012

What happens when you are absolutely clueless about a situation? You simply have no direction and your inner compass has gone haywire. Resting in the place of unknowing can be scary for most of us. We are used to always having an objective, a goal, a vision. In our linear understanding of time, the clock marches forward, not backward or sideways. When we are clueless, we are in a swirl that has no boundaries.

Did you know it takes the human brain a few milliseconds to process information so that what you experience is actually delayed in time? What you see, smell or hear happened in the past. So when you are clueless, it is as if you are standing in the immediate moment between what has happened and your experience of it. And that can be your bridge to understanding.

It is a place of suspension, of absolute nothingness, of inner space, of Ma. We can use that space to truly allow things to unfold, then let our brains catch up to experience its unfolding.

Imagine being clueless as a powerful place where you needn’t have the answers. They will come in their own time. And you get to be the participant-observer of their birth.

You don’t always have to run the show. In fact, in many ways your personal script has already been written. The question is which part will you play?

Better Days

September 17, 2012

Bruce Springsteen sings of them. So do the Goo Goo Dolls. But the best lyrics I’ve heard recently about better days is a line in Dave Matthews’ Song, “Cry Freedom.” “The future is no place/to place your better days.”

Better days refer to better times. It usually is followed by “When I do X,Y,Z, then A,B,C can happen,” such as “When I have lost five kilos, then I’ll be happy.” Deferring the good stuff in life is not a good idea because you really don’t know when your personal bank account of time will close forever.

Better days are here and now. If you let them in. And they can be found anywhere at any time in the still, small moments that frame our lives.

Getting to your happy place isn’t hard if you make it a habit every day. When you wake up in the morning, what’s the first thing you think about? Your worries? Your to-dos? Or do you focus your attention on what’s right in your world? Do you greet the day with the reverence it deserves?

The good news is if you are reading this, you get another chance to make today that better day. Are you with me on this one?

Slow messages come fast

July 23, 2009

Embracing time as friend is a heart-centered process. We have to develop a distinct listening to our inner selves, the voice of which resides deep within. Taking on the power of slow is not necessarily about slowing down to a turtle’s pace, but about finding out what is truly important to you. When you take a moment to do that, you automatically slow down to look at the Big Picture. The image of the turtle reminds us of who won the Aesopean race after all…

turtleThe landscape of  your Big Picture may have changed over the years, but the overall frame has not. We may not always have words to describe why we do what we do. Our life’s purpose sometimes brings us to a preverbal state in which articulation takes shape on the emotional level. When asked why I do the various, seemingly non-related things I do, I cannot answer other than to say “I just know I must do it.”

When we are in true alignment with that purpose, things make sense, even if they do not make sense to others. In this state of heightened awareness,  slow messages come at a rapid rate.

Life flows.

Hearts swell.

Goodness happens.

So go on and give your time a hug today. We all sure could use a little more love.

Happiness is born within

January 12, 2009

We often think we’ll be happy when…happiness is not an external matter so why do we often look outside ourselves to find the source? Happiness resides within. It forever begins, and ends, with us.